Hey!!! Itu aku...

Seperti yang dinyatakan dalam blog IronBoard, company aku telah mengstopkan penggunaan internet kepada staff-staffnya . Adoi! Shitz man! Tension giler beb! Hilanglah kemeriahan bekerja and the sole purpose of me coming to work everyday for 5 days a week. (besides getting my salary hujung bulan lah)

Sedih tu memang lah sedih giler beb. Susah lah nak blog from the office, baca blog kengkawan, download tones of stuff, berYM dengan kengawan, check friendster and myspace dan macam-macam benda yang melibatkan internet ni lah. Tension giler beb! Tension up to the point sampai company punya intranet pun aku gi surf lah! (Intranet tu memang doesn't contain anything interesting at all.) Paranoid aku dibuatnya macam ni!Alah, yang kitorang ada ni pun sebenarnya illegal punya excess. In other words, underground!

Dah ada kawan baik yang kerja dekat IT department, diorang bagi kitorang bypass dengan proxy address yang membolehkan kitorang dapat a full Internet access. Kalau nak dikirakan dengan orang yang dapat legal access, kitorang ni lagi beruntung sebab diorang tak enjoy all the benefits. Ada site yang diorang tak boleh browse sebab telah diblockkan. Tak macam kitorang ni, semua site kitorang balun. Porn, entertainment, news, movies, music, local, international, pendek kata semuanya lah. Hu Hu! Memang enjoy giler lah.

Macam yang aku cakap tadi lah, kitorang punya access ni illegal. So, memang kena bersedialah dengan benda macam ni. Nak buat macam mana kan? Benda haram ni memang sentiasa panas beb! Mana boleh tahan lama-lama sangat.Tapi kalau nak diikutkan pattern macam yang sudah-sudah tu, benda won't be for long. Top is just maybe for 2 or 3 weeks aje. Tak tau lah kali ni berapa lama kan? (We'll, I am keeping my fingers cross for this!). Harap-harap kali ni takde lah lama sangat kot!

Here's my top 10 reasons why the company decided to be lean and mean on Internet usage.

1. Over excessive usage of Internet during office hours. I do mean over excessive. Our working hours is 9 hours including 1-hour lunch. So, after doing our own math, we discovered that we worked only for almost an hour whereas we spent the rest of the time surfing the Internet.

2. Maddox's PC alone was infected with more than 3000 spyware and bots. How did I find out? Well, that's the advantages of having a good friend working in the IT department. Masa diorang dok audit my pc and in the cleaning-up process, time tu lah segala detail pasal pc aku keluar. Kesudahannya, they decided to execute a total tack-back on my pc. My friend who's working in the IT department tengah dok clean my pc and sampai sekarang tower aku tak kembali-kembali ke tangan aku. According to him,

3. I've been downloading thousand and thousand of songs, games, wallpapers, screensavers, documents, videos and pictures. 70% of them are movies-oriented, 20% of it is porn and the rest is just utter rubbish. Sudahnya, internet-line pun jadi slow nak mampus.

4. My company has a strict policy on peer-to-peer software. Memang diorang tak allow dari dulu pun. So, being me, I downloaded Yahoo! Messenger, Kazaa, Online Yahoo Games and all sorts of stuffs. It all went smoothly until one day, I can't get Messenger to work! Oh tahi! Diorang dah find out!

5. I used to send about 3000 emails per day. By myself per se. Ain't that cool. Last-last, dapat memo dari company. Selain dari aku, memang ada ramai chart toppers yang mengungguli carta black-list email company aku ni. Semuanya for the same valid reason. Mana tidaknya, semuanya penuh dengan email porn, movies, jokes and rubbish aje. Email kerja, lets say yang ada tapi sekadar cukup nak cover line ajelah. Sesetengah company implement a filter on incoming emails from external servers macam Yahoo!, G-Mail, Hotmail or other web based email provider. Tapi company aku ni baik hati, diorang terima mana-mana email luar yang nak masuk ke dalam server kitorang.

6. Company aku dah terima terlampau banyak sangat report pasal pc down la, cpu crash la, sound system out la? macam-macam laa..

7. Due to these illegal usage, diorang takut yang these viruses will penetrate ke dalam server. Walaupun firewall yang dibeli tu mahal nak mampus, lambat laun lemah jugak system ketahanan tu jugak. So, better late than never, dipotongnya Internet access tu.

8. Bill Internet yang melampau giler babas punya tinggi for the past months. Kesemuanya datang dari floor aku. Kiranya department aku ni memang major contributor untuk bill internet ni lah. Lelaki perempuan semuanya sama aje. Kitorang balun habis.

9. Kalau sorang dah tau the illegal way, sah sah lah satu company mesti tau. Kitorang kat sini percaya that even the walls have ears. Dia mesti bagitau kat kawan dia. Yang kawan dia ni pulak suruh bagitau kawan dia dan dia jugak pesan kawan dia ni suruh pesan dengan kawan kepada kawan dia jugak tu to allow them to access the internet.

10. Not to mention, most important reason of all would be due to blogging. Daily updates, baca blog my coubnterparts and partner-in-crime, commenting on people's blog dan macam-macam lagi lah. 80% of my Internet time is used for blogging, 10% for downloading all sorts of stuff 5% is for chatting and the other 5% is a lot of other stuff.

For now, I am unable to update new entry for my blogs on a frequent intervals due to those constrains mentioned above. So, who's the smooth criminal? I am proud to say that moi is the culprit behind all these. Not to forget Ironboard who is not as malicious but as same evil as me.
Power to the unsolicited, pompous, paranoia-brat but yet exquisite staff on the company.