me = @#@* + ^#*(!( = @%*+_()#
Remember in my earlier entry pasal I was pissed off at someone? I kept on repeating the same thing over and over again. Aku memang letih. Letih yang teramat sangat. Rasa macam I just woke up from the dead aje rasanya. My body is aching, my head is banging, my hands are crippling and I am just lethargic. Aku pun tak tau apasal but I am just worn out. My energy dah dried out of everything. Every small particles dalam badan aku ni tengah hantar signal ke otak aku saying “Stop working”… “Stop working”……
Aku pandang kerja aku ni pun macam just a pile of shit aje. Maaf la bulan-bulan puasa ni aku cakap direct. But this work has really taken a toll on me. For now, tenaga aku aje yang takde. AKu tak nak lah sampai aku punya semangat pun takde. I don’t want to be in the position where I am not motivated to come to work. Rasa tak adil pulak aku layan diri aku macam ni.But this is something yang I can’t avoid. It’s something yang I must face. I guess this is the time where people say I am having my Pre-Menstrual syndrome. No.. bukan mid life crisis. I am far away from all that. Cuma mungkin hormone-hormone dalam badan aku ni tengah bertindakbalas kimia yang menyebabkan ikatan kovalen kot. Agggh… what the heck am I saying. Hehehhe…
Anyway, korang nak tau ape perasaan aku sekarang ni?
1. Sakit
Aku bukannya sakit badan put I just worn out of my energy. Aku memang in dire need of Patch Adams. Maybe he can do miracles with me. Since last night aku memang dah shivering dah. Nak kata demam tak jugak sebab symptom-simptom tu masih belum sampai. Usually, kalau aku nak demam, I’ll be having sore throat, runny nose and cough. Alhamdulillah, setakat ni takde pulak. Maybe the haze punya angkara kot?
2. Pissed
With who? With my boss, frankly speaking. Since the re-structuring took place and one of my team-mate goes on medical leave, all she did is dump everything to me. Gimme a break, I am not some mechanical or electrical appliances. I am not some bulldozer yang ko boleh guna to shove anything on. I am a normal humal being with a limited capabilities, aku bukannya Wolverine yang boleh heal himself in a blink of an eye. Aku homo sapient, bukan neo-sapient.
3. Annoyed
this is the result of the chain reaction from Item 1 and Item 2. Need to say anytbing longer, just summarize Item 1 and Item 2.
4. Anxious
The only positivo in myself right now. This is something yang memang aku look forward upon. Actually, 50% of my hope lies in here. Apa dia? Nanti lah, aku akan sharekan dengan korang semua. For the mean time, lets just say yang aku tak nak lepaskan something so god pass by just like that.
5. Tired
out of almost everything. Badan aku letih, otak aku letih, pendek kata, semuanya letih. Letih dengan kerja, letih dengan haze, letih dengan traffic jam, letih dengan macam-macam benda lah.
6. Angry
I gets angry easily. Some might not notice this but it’s the truth. I can easily get angry over small things. Kadand-kadang tu, Aku silap tulis sikit pun aku boleh gets all worked up. Just for nothing.
Well, there you have it. I guess it’s a mixed feeling. But the equation is not correct.
You see, this is the equation
90% -ve [25% Pissed, 15% sakit, 15% Annoyed, 25% Angry 10% Tired]
10% +ve [anxious]
So, putting the two and two together, it results in DEEP SHIT. I am going crazy and going over board, I am loosing my sanity.
Korang ada solution? Cuba lah bagi semangat kat kawan korang ni sebelum he drifted far far away from reality. Sebelum aku menjadi Zero Cool yang menjadi rebellious didalam dunia maya.
I need a break! I need to go on long leave. I need to take my mind of things at the current moment. Nasib baik lah ada cuti raya. Aku purposely ambik cuti lama sebab aku dah bosan giler dengan kerja office. My only motivation to work now is just my pay. That’s it. Pathetic giler isn’t it? But that’s the truth. I don’t know when will this end but I know that it’s going to take a very long time.
Sigh! Begini la nasib… diri ku yang malang.. oh tuhan…
Ehh.. wait…. Silap lagu… tukar frequency radio, tune to Sinar FM. Tengah pasang lagu Kabut Serangkai Mawar.
p/s : mind my blabbering. I am recovering. Just one of those days where kepala otak aku tak center. Jangan aku jadi macam orang giler yang nampak punggung dalam citer Gubra tu sudah la…
Aku pandang kerja aku ni pun macam just a pile of shit aje. Maaf la bulan-bulan puasa ni aku cakap direct. But this work has really taken a toll on me. For now, tenaga aku aje yang takde. AKu tak nak lah sampai aku punya semangat pun takde. I don’t want to be in the position where I am not motivated to come to work. Rasa tak adil pulak aku layan diri aku macam ni.But this is something yang I can’t avoid. It’s something yang I must face. I guess this is the time where people say I am having my Pre-Menstrual syndrome. No.. bukan mid life crisis. I am far away from all that. Cuma mungkin hormone-hormone dalam badan aku ni tengah bertindakbalas kimia yang menyebabkan ikatan kovalen kot. Agggh… what the heck am I saying. Hehehhe…
Anyway, korang nak tau ape perasaan aku sekarang ni?
1. Sakit
Aku bukannya sakit badan put I just worn out of my energy. Aku memang in dire need of Patch Adams. Maybe he can do miracles with me. Since last night aku memang dah shivering dah. Nak kata demam tak jugak sebab symptom-simptom tu masih belum sampai. Usually, kalau aku nak demam, I’ll be having sore throat, runny nose and cough. Alhamdulillah, setakat ni takde pulak. Maybe the haze punya angkara kot?
2. Pissed
With who? With my boss, frankly speaking. Since the re-structuring took place and one of my team-mate goes on medical leave, all she did is dump everything to me. Gimme a break, I am not some mechanical or electrical appliances. I am not some bulldozer yang ko boleh guna to shove anything on. I am a normal humal being with a limited capabilities, aku bukannya Wolverine yang boleh heal himself in a blink of an eye. Aku homo sapient, bukan neo-sapient.
3. Annoyed
this is the result of the chain reaction from Item 1 and Item 2. Need to say anytbing longer, just summarize Item 1 and Item 2.
4. Anxious
The only positivo in myself right now. This is something yang memang aku look forward upon. Actually, 50% of my hope lies in here. Apa dia? Nanti lah, aku akan sharekan dengan korang semua. For the mean time, lets just say yang aku tak nak lepaskan something so god pass by just like that.
5. Tired
out of almost everything. Badan aku letih, otak aku letih, pendek kata, semuanya letih. Letih dengan kerja, letih dengan haze, letih dengan traffic jam, letih dengan macam-macam benda lah.
6. Angry
I gets angry easily. Some might not notice this but it’s the truth. I can easily get angry over small things. Kadand-kadang tu, Aku silap tulis sikit pun aku boleh gets all worked up. Just for nothing.
Well, there you have it. I guess it’s a mixed feeling. But the equation is not correct.
You see, this is the equation
90% -ve [25% Pissed, 15% sakit, 15% Annoyed, 25% Angry 10% Tired]
10% +ve [anxious]
So, putting the two and two together, it results in DEEP SHIT. I am going crazy and going over board, I am loosing my sanity.
Korang ada solution? Cuba lah bagi semangat kat kawan korang ni sebelum he drifted far far away from reality. Sebelum aku menjadi Zero Cool yang menjadi rebellious didalam dunia maya.
I need a break! I need to go on long leave. I need to take my mind of things at the current moment. Nasib baik lah ada cuti raya. Aku purposely ambik cuti lama sebab aku dah bosan giler dengan kerja office. My only motivation to work now is just my pay. That’s it. Pathetic giler isn’t it? But that’s the truth. I don’t know when will this end but I know that it’s going to take a very long time.
Sigh! Begini la nasib… diri ku yang malang.. oh tuhan…
Ehh.. wait…. Silap lagu… tukar frequency radio, tune to Sinar FM. Tengah pasang lagu Kabut Serangkai Mawar.
p/s : mind my blabbering. I am recovering. Just one of those days where kepala otak aku tak center. Jangan aku jadi macam orang giler yang nampak punggung dalam citer Gubra tu sudah la…
